Why can certain partner smells become exciting?

Sometimes all it takes is a worn garment, the smell of the skin after sports or a perfume mixed with the body odor to cause a very strong reaction. Some people even find it particularly attractive to smells that others would call unpleasant.

This may come as a surprise, but smell is closely related to emotions, memories and personal preferences. Loving the smell of a partner is therefore not necessarily an «oddity». In some people, this olfactory attraction can even be part of their sexual arousal.

Smell contributes to the attraction

We often recognize close people with a set of details: their voice, their way of moving, their perfume and their body odor. Smell can thus become a very personal element of intimacy.

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We sometimes hear that this reaction would be simply due to «human pheromones». You have to be more careful. Pheromones play a clearly established role in many animal species, but the existence and functioning of comparable human sexual pheromones remain much less certain.

This does not prevent body odors from influencing our preferences. We can appreciate a smell because it is associated with a specific person, an intimate context or a positive memory, without it being necessary to invoke a mysterious substance capable of automatically causing attraction.

Smells awaken memories very easily

A smell can bring back an old scene with amazing speed. The paper of a new book can recall the school, the smell of wet earth a place of childhood, and a precise perfume a person that we have not seen for a long time.

The same phenomenon can occur in a couple. The smell of a worn T-shirt or skin after a day can become reassuring because it is associated with hugs, a shared bed, a sexual relationship or simply the presence of the partner.

Thus, a smell does not need to be considered «good» universally to be pleasant. The brain gives it meaning according to the experiences associated with it.

It is also for this reason that a perfume worn by a person can seem very attractive when the same fragrance on someone else has almost no effect.

When the smell becomes a sexual preference

In some people, a precise smell does not only trigger a memory or a feeling of closeness: it becomes directly linked to excitement. The sexual interest in certain smells is sometimes called olfactophilia.

This preference may concern the natural smell of the skin, sweating, worn clothing, underwear or other elements associated with the partner. As with other sexual preferences, the intensity varies enormously from person to person.

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A preference is not automatically a disorder. It becomes especially problematic when it causes significant suffering, prevents the person from having a satisfactory sexuality or leads to crossing the limits and the consent of others.

Other people may be particularly attracted to clothing, body part, texture type, voice, or certain scenarios. The human being associates many sensory signals with excitement, and smell can simply be one of them.

And the products sold as «Peromone Perfumes»?

Many perfumes or intimate sprays use the word «pheromones» in their marketing and sometimes promise to increase the attraction. These promises must be taken with hindsight: no perfume can guarantee that a person will be sexually attracted to the wearer.

On the other hand, the perfumes themselves can obviously play on the atmosphere. Musk, vanilla, floral notes, leather or other smells can be appreciated for very personal reasons and become associated with an intimate context.

Some flavored lubricants or massage products also use perfumes. In this case, the most important criterion remains their compatibility with the intended use and with the skin or mucous membranes. A pleasant fragrance is not reason enough to apply a product not intended for intimate contact.

Is loving the smell of your partner's clothes worrying?

not in itself. Feeling a piece of clothing that belongs to someone you love can be a way to find your presence, and the fact that this smell sometimes contributes to excitement is nothing exceptional.

The limit mainly concerns consent and hygiene. Taking or using intimate clothes without someone's knowledge can cross a personal limit. If you want to integrate this preference into your sexuality, the easiest way is to talk about it.

You can explain that you like certain smells of the partner without presenting this as an obligation. The other person may be amused, interested, indifferent or not wish to participate: all these reactions must be able to be respected.

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A preference that can become a couple's game

Smell is sometimes neglected when talking about sexuality, while it strongly contributes to the atmosphere and to memories. If your partner’s natural smell, a worn garment or a scent is just like you, it can just be part of your personal way of living the desire.

As long as the exchange is based on consent, respect and good hygiene, it is not necessary to be ashamed of this preference. Talking about it openly can even turn what seemed strange into a couple's own intimate code.