« Black men inevitably have a bigger penis», «large testicles mean more power», «the longer a relationship lasts, the better it is»: discussions on male sexuality are filled with shortcuts of this type.
These beliefs are above all a problem because they transform sexuality into competitions. The satisfaction of a couple is neither an ethnic origin, nor a few centimeters, nor a timer.
To judge a sexual difficulty, the useful criteria are much more concrete: is erection sufficient when you need it? Can you communicate and adapt the stimulation? Do you feel that you have enough control over ejaculation? And above all, do the two partners feel respected and satisfied?
Before the myths: what is a «performing» sexuality?
There is no formula imposing perfect rigidity, ten minutes of foreplay and a precise penetration time. A pleasant sexual relationship may contain a lot or little penetration, several breaks, a sex toy, oral sex or no ejaculation.
The erection counts when it is necessary for the chosen activity, but it is only one element. Nor does the technique consist in applying a universal recipe: it consists of observing the reactions of the partner and asking what he or she prefers.
The goal of a simultaneous orgasm is particularly misleading. Partners do not need to enjoy at the same time for the report to be successful.
Myth 1: Ethnic origin predicts penis size
Racial penis size stereotypes are old and largely reinforced by pornography. The available data does not predict the size of an individual from their skin color or origin.
The rankings of countries published on the Internet often mix self-measures, declarative surveys and different methods, which makes comparisons very fragile.
Above all, even when an average difference exists between two samples, it does not say anything reliable about the man you have in front of you. variability between individuals is important.
And the size does not sum up the sexual quality. A longer penis does not automatically improve erection, control of ejaculation, communication or clitoral stimulation.
Myth 2: The bigger the testicles, the higher the libido and testosterone
The testicles participate in the production of sperm and testosterone, but one cannot read the hormonal level of a man by looking at the size of his scrotum.
Hormonal levels are controlled by a complex endocrine system. A difference in volume in the normal range does not directly transform a man into a more or less efficient partner.
On the contrary, a significant or recent swelling can be a sign of a problem: inflammation, hydrocele, varicocele, mass or other condition. In this case, you have to think about health rather than «virility».
A pain, a hard nodule or a quick change in size deserves a medical examination.
Myth 3: The longer the penetration, the better the ratio
The ideal duration does not exist. A couple may prefer a short penetration accompanied by a lot of foreplay, while another enjoys a longer pace.
Timed penetration can even harm pleasure when the man slows down only to reach a number or when the partner begins to feel dryness and irritation.
A very long relationship is not always a sign of «great endurance». If ejaculation is systematically very difficult or impossible despite a pleasant and sufficient stimulation, it can be a delayed ejaculation, sometimes associated with drugs, certain masturbation habits, psychological factors or health problems.
Conversely, occasionally quick ejaculation is not automatically premature ejaculation. Diagnosis depends on repetition, control and distress felt.
Myth 4: The distance of the urine jet measures sexual potency
The strength of the urinary stream depends on the functioning of the bladder, urethra, prostate and muscles involved in urination. It does not measure the rigidity of the erection or the ability to give pleasure.
A very powerful jet after having long held its urine does not therefore constitute a «test of virility». And voluntarily seeking to hold urine to check its scope has no interest.
Rather, it is the unusual urinary changes that deserve attention: much lower jet, difficulty starting, burning, blood, very frequent urge or impression not to empty the bladder.
The pelvic floor participates in certain urinary and sexual functions, but strengthening it is not intended to make urinate further.
Myth 5: Long abstinence automatically makes more performance
After a period without sex or masturbation, the desire can be more marked and the excitement faster. Some men interpret this sensation as «accumulated energy».
But the body does not store a sexual power that would double with the number of days of abstinence. Conversely, the absence of sexual activity does not automatically damage the nerves, circulation or erectile capacity.
You can have a normal sex life after a long break. The recovery can simply be different: very strong excitement and rapid ejaculation in some, anxiety and difficulty of erection in others.
There is therefore no optimal abstinence time to increase performance.
Three real axes count more
1. General health
The quality of the erection depends in particular on the health of the vessels, the nervous system and hormonal factors. Tobacco, diabetes, hypertension, sedentary lifestyle or certain drugs can have much more impact than a fantasized anatomical feature.
2. Excitement level and comfort
A person who is afraid of «not holding» or not being big enough can be so focused on performance that erection and pleasure decrease. Feeling accepted and being able to slow down reduces this pressure.
3. communication and variety
Penetration is just a form of stimulation. Hands, mouth, vibrator, positions and clitoral stimulation can be combined according to preference. A couple who communicates has many more options than a man who thinks he has to succeed just with his penis.
Don't let the myths define your sexuality
Comparing your body to a race, porn star, penetration time or testicle size teaches you almost nothing about your ability to experience good sexuality.
Dildo Vibrating dildo for women with telescopic and 10 frequencies, Aivrobta34,99€View product
If a concrete problem exists — insufficient erection, pain, persistent difficulty in ejaculating or uncontrollable ejaculation that makes you suffer — treat this problem for itself. If there is no difficulty, there is no need to look for an imaginary standard.
The most useful «sexual ability» is ultimately the one that allows you to adapt: being healthy, listening to your body, understanding the partner and building together an experience that suits both.
French 
English (United States) 
German 
Spanish 
Portuguese 
Italian 
English (UK)